Samhain

Friday, Saturday and Sunday were dedicated to a ‘Contemplation of my own Death’  in the company of dear friends. Led by Brian Oakenleaf we spent three days untangling our own attitudes towards death and therefore, life. We discussed Scottish and family traditions, rituals and beliefs associated with death. We created ceremonies to honour our ancestors which is fully within keeping of the heritage of our place. We visited Croft Morag, a beautiful stone circle near Aberfeldy. Throughout the weekend I sketched as a way of catching hold of the days. The sense of duality in the examination of living with dying echoed many of the ideas that had emerged during the week. Alaistair Maclennan would have needed no introduction to the group.

The idea that the difference between performance and spiritual ceremony was discussed. It was proposed that in performance one is not bringing one’s whole self to the experience whilst in ceremony it is entirely about fully inhabiting the intention and the moment, bringing one’s whole being to the circle. I wondered how actors I know would respond to such a notion. Sandy when playing the Duchess of Malfi came home nightly, wrung out saying that he had killed his sister and that it does terrible things to a man to do that 5 nights in a week. It could be argued that if he did not inhabit the act every performance, the audience would not have such a visceral experience. However Sandy’s main intention was to demonstrate to the audience how his jealousy drove him to the madness which in turn made him kill his sister. In ceremony, in our ceremony, we had no audience. To an audience we would have looked like a bunch of slightly demented white haired people moving slowly. It was not intended to be experienced or to be for the benefit of anyone else. For us it was a quiet, relective time to honour the blessing of life and the transience of our days. Yet I am making it public here. We ever dip in and out of experience and the story of being and sharing.